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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114058">My Kingdom Awaits</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockmyheart/pseuds/lockmyheart'>lockmyheart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Afterlife, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Reunions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:20:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockmyheart/pseuds/lockmyheart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says, and there's a slight tremor in his voice. “I had so hoped I wouldn’t see you here so soon.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Kingdom Awaits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I haven't written, or read for that matter, any Supernatural fic in years. However, the finale gave me such a boost and I wrote several one-shots in just a couple of days. This is one of them, and I bet it's exactly the same as so many other post-finale fics lol. </p>
<p>This isn't my best piece of writing, but it was fun to feel excited about something again. </p>
<p>This author loved the finale to pieces. The only thing I missed was another appearance from Cas.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bobby says it so casually that, at first, Dean doesn’t quite catch the implication. But then it hits him. “Cas is here?”</p>
<p>Bobby nods, and smiles like he knows something. Dean prepares himself for the rush of embarrassment, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he finds himself smiling back. The confusion must show even on his smiling face, because Bobby laughs. </p>
<p>“This is heaven, boy,” he says. “You’re dead. Did you really think you would haul all your shame and trauma to the afterlife with you?”</p>
<p>Dean shrugs. He's been to Heaven before, but he’d forgotten what it felt like. Besides, he’s sure this is different somehow. He feels exactly like himself, but the way he remembers Heaven described is more like a very realistic dream. Right now, he feels physical. Corporeal. When he takes a breath he feels the air go into his lungs and his chest expands. He feels his heart beating in his chest. </p>
<p>He tries to wrap his mind around the concept. “So no one gets sad in Heaven? You and Rufus never fight?”</p>
<p>Bobby laughs again. “Oh, we fight,” he says. “You get angry, sure. You can even cry and scream your heart out; you will feel everything as strongly as you did on earth. The difference is how it affects you after. It won’t fester.”</p>
<p>Dean can’t imagine what Bobby is describing. He can’t imagine his experiences not festering and torturing him. He shifts on his feet.</p>
<p>Bobby smiles. “I’ve held you here long enough,” he says. “You want to see him, so scram.”</p>
<p>Dean’s heart (His dead heart? He’s still a little confused) picks up speed. “Where, uh, where is he?”</p>
<p>“He’ll find you.”</p>
<p>Okay, cryptic. Dean rolls his eyes and turns around, and that’s when he sees it. Her. “Oh,” he breathes, awed. He walks towards his car, letting his fingers run over her black shiny paint job. And he just knows, he knows, that this is Cas. Cas made sure his car would be here, waiting for him. </p>
<p>Dean goes on a drive and there is something so right about this. In the back of his mind he thinks of Sam, alone on earth, but he will be alright. Sam is strong, and he was always better at being alone than Dean ever was. Dean wants him to have a life, finally, and Sam will honor those wishes. For once, Sam will do what he’s told. </p>
<p>Dean parks on a bridge and climbs out. He checks out the view and it’s stunning, it even has a smell. It smells like trees, water, and <em>life</em>. Dean can’t remember if Heaven used to have smell, but he doesn’t think so. </p>
<p>There’s a soft flutter behind him, one he has heard so many times before. He smiles, wide, and turns around, his eyes already wet. </p>
<p>“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says, and there's a slight tremor in his voice. “I had so hoped I wouldn’t see you here so soon.”</p>
<p>Dean shakes his head, his throat too closed up to speak. He steps forward and pulls him in, exhaling deeply. Cas hugs him back and they stand there for what feels like an eternity. The months spent without Cas on earth were shit, but as per usual Dean had squashed it down and could only tell himself again and again that Cas would’ve wanted Dean to keep on living. So he had, for as long as he could. Which turned out not to be very long at all, but hey, A for effort.</p>
<p>“I missed you,” he breathes, clutching Cas’ trench coat in his fists. It takes nothing out of him to admit it. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”</p>
<p>“I thought the same,” Cas says, quietly. “But Jack -- he found a way to pull me from the Empty.”</p>
<p>Dean pulls away. “You’re <em>alive</em>, you bastard?” he asks, laughing, and punches Cas in the shoulder. “Of course you are. Fuck.” He blinks and a tear runs down his face. He wonders if crying in Heaven is a new feature. “I’m so glad you’re alive, man.”</p>
<p>“Of course I am, how else would I be here?” Cas smiles, but it’s a sadder smile now. He holds Dean’s shoulder. His palm radiates heat through all the layers of Dean's clothing. “It pains me, so deeply, that you’re not,” he says, and his voice wavers. “Dean, just say the word and I’ll —”</p>
<p>“No.” Dean shakes his head. “I’m okay with this. Really. Don’t bring me back.”</p>
<p>Cas frowns. “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure.”</p>
<p>Cas doesn’t look like he agrees, but he reluctantly nods. ‘Whatever you want’ hangs unspoken in the air between them. </p>
<p>“Especially after this badass home renovation you and Jack have been doing,” Dean says, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “It looks really awesome, Cas. It <em>feels</em> really awesome.”</p>
<p>A small smile appears on Cas’ face. “Thank you. I — <em>We</em>. We created it with you in mind.”</p>
<p>Dean’s breath hitches. Castiel built a heaven based on him. Or… <em>for</em> him? </p>
<p>“Cas…” They’re still holding each other, he realizes. Cas has a hand on his bicep, and both of Dean’s are on his shoulders. Close. Intimate. “Cas, about what you said before you —”</p>
<p>Cas drops his arm, and Dean feels an instant loss. “Dean, it’s okay,” he says. He smiles like he means it. “I never said it with the intention of getting any kind of response from you.”</p>
<p>Dean shakes his head. “Just listen to me, damn it.”</p>
<p>Cas shuts his mouth. </p>
<p>“Good, okay.” Dean squeezes Cas’ shoulders. “Do you know how shitty it is to dump something like that on someone and then fucking <em>die</em> immediately after?" He clasps the back of Cas' lower neck, jostling him just a little. "Do you?” </p>
<p>Cas has the decency to look apologetic, but Dean thinks he saw his eyes widen at his touch. </p>
<p>“I didn’t even understand what you meant until you were gone," he says. "I…” Tears well up in his eyes again. Damn it. “I still can’t wrap my head around it, to be honest.”</p>
<p>Cas smiles, similarly to the way he had smiled right before he let himself be taken. “It’s hard for you to believe that I love you?” </p>
<p>Dean swallows, hard. He sure feels alive now, from the way he trembles. “Yes. Or no, I know you love me, I just didn’t think… You know, in <em>that</em> way.”</p>
<p>Cas’ smile is soft now. Gentle. He takes Dean's hand, wraps his fingers around his wrist, and leads it underneath his trench coat. He presses Dean’s palm against his heart. It beats hard and fast against his palm. </p>
<p>“Whenever you touch me,” Cas says, as if this is the most matter-of-fact thing in the world, "this is what I feel."</p>
<p>Dean looks at where his hand disappears under Cas’ coat and feels how the heartbeat speeds up even further. His own mimics the near frantic pace. </p>
<p>“You could’ve told me before, you bastard,” Dean says, choked up. He doesn’t meet his eyes. “Why didn’t you?”</p>
<p>Cas still has his fingers loosely wrapped around Dean’s wrist. His skin is on fire where they touch. “I… I didn’t think there would be any point. I didn’t want to put a strain on what we had and make you uncomfortable. I know my choice of vessel isn’t your preference, and I have, several times, wondered what would have been different if I’d…” He doesn’t finish, but Dean knows what he’s thinking. What would have been different if Cas, from the get-go, had chosen a female vessel?</p>
<p>Honestly? Probably so much. Dean is almost ashamed to think that way, but it’s the truth. </p>
<p>“Cas…” Dean lifts his eyes back to Cas’ bright blue ones. “Cas, I’m sorry you had to die for me to realize. I’m sorry I’m so damn slow a-and clueless and… and damaged. I’m sorry I never even considered…” He takes a deep breath. There’s no shame. There’s no uncertainty. Just plain nerves. “I never considered you an option. But God, Cas.” His fingers curl into the fabric above Cas’ heart and his other hand squeezes the back of his neck tighter “Of course I love you too.” He laughs a stunned little laugh. The truth sings in his chest and the air vibrates with it. The puzzle pieces lock into place and he laughs again, shaking his head. “It’s… Of course I do.”</p>
<p>Cas blinks and his breath stutters in such a human way. He truly is more than just an angel now, Dean thinks. “Dean…”</p>
<p>“And just so there are no more misunderstandings.” Dean takes a step closer and Cas looks at him with that deer in the headlights look that’s just… damn endearing, actually. “I’m in love with you,” he says, and the words come easy; they fall out of him like they've been waiting just on the tip of his tongue. “I probably have been for years.”</p>
<p>“Dean…” Cas sounds almost scared. His voice is a mere breath. This idiot truly confessed his feelings to Dean and then he thought he could just die and never have to face the consequences. </p>
<p>“Surprised you, huh? Well, serves you right.” Dean leans in closer and Cas twitches like his first instinct is to rear back, but he stays rooted to the spot. Dean closes the distance between them with a smile still on his lips. </p>
<p>Cas makes a low sound in his throat. </p>
<p>And kisses him back. </p><hr/>
<p>“How will this work?” Dean asks. They’re standing side by side on the bridge, their arms touching where they’re leaning against the railing. “With me being dead and all.”</p>
<p>Dean looks at Cas’ profile. He’s looking out at he water with a relaxed kind of happiness on his face. “Heaven is my home,” Cas says. “And so are you. So, if you’ll let me, I’ll stay here.”</p>
<p>There’s nothing Dean wants more. He smiles.</p>
<p>"But," Cas says, "You're dead, and so you won't age."</p>
<p>"I know. Sweet, right?"</p>
<p>"Right. And --" Cas clears his throat, his eyes avoiding Dean's. "I won't either. My lifespan, it's incredibly long and--"</p>
<p>Dean bites back a grin. "I know what I'm signing up for, Cas," he says. "Look, I can't promise you 'forever', and I'm sure you can't either. But if 'forever' happens, I wouldn't mind."</p>
<p>Cas swallows hard. He's still not looking at Dean, but he's smiling.</p>
<p>“What took you so long though?” Dean asks, elbowing him. They could talk about their weird dead human/living angel future later, God knows they had the time. “To show up here, I mean. Kinda offended you weren’t front row of my welcome wagon, y’know.”</p>
<p>Cas smiles again, and finally their eyes meet. “I’ve visited Sam. A few times already.”</p>
<p>"Sam?”</p>
<p>Cas nods. “Time works differently here, as I’m sure you know. He’s well,” he adds. “He has a family. He stopped hunting.” He pauses. “Well, mostly. Don’t worry, I’ve told him you’re at peace. It brought him peace in return to know that."</p>
<p>“Fuck.” Dean laughs, and maybe he tears up a little again. “Kids? Good for him.”</p>
<p>Cas hums. “Yes. It’s almost time.”</p>
<p>“For what?” </p>
<p>Five seconds later, there’s another sound behind Dean. Dean knows who it is before he turns around. “Hiya, Sammy.”</p>
<p>And there is Sam. Looking the same as when Dean last left him, some thirty minutes ago. </p>
<p>They hug, and Sam holds him so tightly that Dean is able to feel just how much time must have passed for his little brother. </p>
<p>Sam hugs Cas next, but it’s shorter and more like a greeting, and the implication is that Cas has indeed been visiting him. The thought is calming to Dean, it's good to know Cas never left Sam behind.</p>
<p>Dean struggles not to cry when, later, Sam tells him all about his life. And about how he died, an old man, in his own bed with his son holding his hand. </p>
<p>It’s odd. Dean has only just left Sam, meanwhile Sam has lived a whole life without Dean. He has lived longer without Dean than he ever lived <em>with</em> him. It almost hurts to think about, but it’s what he wanted, and Dean is so happy for him. </p>
<p>It doesn’t take long for Sam’s wife to show up and she cries as she throws herself around his neck. Dean glances at Cas, and they share a smile. Soon, they will tell Sam the truth. </p>
<p>Sam’s son comes rather soon, embarrassed to admit that he died at forty-one, just like Dean, on a hunt. They let Sam yell at him for a while (apparently they’ve had these conversations before, on earth) but then Dean pulls him aside. Cas joins, somewhat awkwardly, and hovers in the background. </p>
<p>Sam is still seething (”He promised me he wouldn’t! I told him how dangerous it was so many times!”), and this probably isn’t the best time, but Dean wants it out of the way. </p>
<p>“So,” Dean says, swallowing. “Cas and I have something we need to tell you.”</p>
<p>Sam stops in the middle of what seemed to be the beginning of another rant, and his eyes dart between them. “Ohh,” he says then, grinning. His anger melts away. Must be Heaven working its magic. “Don’t tell me you guys figured it out?” He looks at Cas then, and his eyes shine with something that’s not surprise, to <em>Dean’s</em> surprise. </p>
<p>“What, you know?”</p>
<p>“Well.” Sam smiles a little again. “He’s visited me, you know.” He nods towards Cas. “A few times, over the years. We’ve had some conversations.”</p>
<p>Dean guffaws and turns to Cas. “You told him already?!”</p>
<p>Cas reddens. “Well, I… I might’ve mentioned… I…”</p>
<p>Dean glares, but rolls his eyes. “God. I don’t get how this works, you’ve been here with me almost the whole time but apparently you’ve been visiting him as well?” Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, his head starting to ache. Should he be having headaches in heaven?! He might bring this complaint to the creators later. Lucky for him, he knows said creators quite well. </p>
<p>“It’s not easy to explain,” Cas says. “At least not to a human.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, tiny human brains, I got it.”<br/>
 <br/>
Sam looks between them, his eyes soft. “I’m happy for you. I told Cas you might surprise him.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t believe you.”</p>
<p>Dean reddens. “I’m not gay.” He doesn’t know why he says it, why he feels the need to say it, but it rushes out of him anyway. </p>
<p>Sam rolls his eyes. “I never thought you were. You can love him anyway.”</p>
<p>Yes, Dean decides. His body relaxes, and he meets Castiel’s eyes. </p>
<p>Yes, he can. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><i>I'm coming home</i><br/>
<i>I'm coming home</i><br/>
<i>Tell the world <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k84QxVJd0tI">I'm coming home</a></i></p></blockquote></div></div>
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